‘I Quit’ is something I never thought I would ever say, especially not after I went to university with all intentions and eggs in one basket to become a full-time teacher. When I left university I had no idea where my degree was going to lead down, let alone think that I would want to fully pursue my career in education. When I got a job in a school as a TA I jumped for joy…and that is where I have been for the last (almost) 3 years.
The most heartbreaking thing is that when I went back after last summer I had lost all ambition, oompf and drive to actually fulfill that career as an actual teacher. Something in me changed, partly to do with me but do with the place where I actually worked. Okay, so I was kinda teaching anyway, you know, filling in for teachers that couldn’t make it in, having to cover classes when teachers weren’t available etc. But my passion for it had gone. Despite my best efforts to keep a smile on my face and tell myself; “this is what I had set out to do and I would be a failure if I didn’t succeed” I couldn’t help but see other people enjoying life on the ‘other side’ being self-employed, being their own boss and bossing it at the same time.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that the grass is always greener on the other side, but I am pretty sure it’s a lot greener over there than the patch I was stood on before I made this decision.
When I went on my Christmas holidays, I went down for a trip to Salisbury and went on a run one morning to clear my head, have a think and get some fresh air. It was around 7am and it was so quiet and peaceful. I stopped to look at the river, take a wintry iPhone snap, and it was then that a voice kicked in my head and said “go for it Lily, why don’t you? I mean…become self-employed?!” I quickly ushered the voice away but it came back again, only this time, stronger. Having then thought about it throughout my entire run, I decided it would actually be feasible. Get a 3 day a week job as a nanny, and have two days to work on my blog and YouTube. Could this actually work? I wondered.
I wanted to sit down and put it into words how I felt…but it took me a while to find the words to say. I made a YouTube video, but pondered whether anyone would actually want to see it, so deleted it. I wrote down notes of things to say, which I actually kept and used for the re-filming of said video for my YouTube channel. I wanted to explain why I have done what I have done, and how good it is going to be for my own sanity and progression in life. I thought it could help others who have been through the same thought processes as I have had over the last few months.
A few months later – not even 4 – and I am sitting here, typing out this blog post and saying that I have done it. I have handed in my notice to my teaching job, taken the plunge, and from July I will be becoming self-employed. For me, and my future professional status it was important for me to complete the current academic year (it looks better on the CV).
I will be my own boss, work my own hours and earn my way through life doing it my way (Que. Frank Sinatra). Just having this one little change in my life has had a massive impact on the way I see things. I can see a brighter future for myself, my career, my blog and my YouTube and I am ever so grateful for all the kind words I have received from readers and viewers.
For a while I doubted myself and inability to do things on my own and boss it, but now I realise that anyone can, if you just set your mind to it. I don’t feel I have failed because I’m using my life skills and knowledge of childcare to take me further, on my own. There is nothing wrong with wanting your life back and wanting what is best for your own mental state and well-being and I urge others to do the same.
“If you don’t have big dreams & goals, you’ll end up working really hard for someone who does.”
Let me know if this sounds familiar to you or you’ve made a sudden career change. It would be great to hear from others who have done the same!