As you may have read from my posts this year, 2018 has been another positive and life changing year for me.
I thought I lost myself, I found myself again and did something about oneself. What I mean by that, is the life changing decision I made to become self employed. Yes, I know I talk about it a lot but when something big and significant happens in someone’s life it makes such an impact on every aspect possible.
When I look back to this time last year, (click for post about it) I felt run down, stressed and fed up. I am not gonna sit here and say I felt lower than low because I’m always a positive person even in the worst scenarios, and I can always see the best in every situation. But I was could never catch my health due to being tired 24/7. I was working long hours for someone who didn’t appreciate the work I was putting in…(yes! I can finally say that now and not feel unprofessional, since that chapter is now behind me.) I was leaving the house at 6:45am and not getting home till 7pm. After that it was literally shower, eat and bed and do it all again. Following on from this, when my life changed in the Summer I bought myself a ring (nothing too fancy) but something I wanted to treasure as a promise to myself that I would never let anyone treat me like that again and I was worth so much more than that. Yes, I know you are probably sat there thinking that people get treated worse but I can honestly say that the last three years have been an absolute rollercoaster. I don’t think I would have got through it without Ash, my family & friends and my strength within myself to keep going.
When people approach me about teaching and say “yes but you’ve got the nice school holidays”, I can finally reveal to you that after the teachers have stayed on for the inset says and various other things to prep, the holidays are cut very short. So short that you spend half of the time recovering and then the other half worrying about the next term ahead. It was never as glorified as it seemed but it was very rewarding, as working with children always is.
Moving on from that, closing one chapter and opening a new one is extremely positive and after turning 28 this year, I realised now was the time to really start getting my act together. As I move into the last year of my 20’s in 2019 I’ve come to realise just how much I’ve grown as a person. In my mind I still feel 22 (and feel it) and since I still get ID’d I must look under 18. BUT when I think back to when I set off for the sights of London and University in 2012, I realise just how far I’ve come. I’m now my own boss for one thing, and only have myself and my clients to answer too, which, let’s face it, we live in a world of young entrepreneurs and most would LOVE nothing more than to go it solo, I have gained oodle amounts of confidence previous to this and even more so since the summer. I won’t let anyone mess me around or make me feel like I am worth nothing to them (I’m talking old friends who haven’t exactly stood by me through the years) and I can finally feel happy and content in my own body. I think this comes partly with getting older and having that attitude of “not giving a ****” but also partly having some sort of life experience which I have my 20’s to thank for.
Although I am not saying goodbye to my 20’s just yet, I feel that I have grown so much as a women and 2018 has been held accountable for that. I have learnt to let the past go and live more in the present, taking spontaneous trips (America/California) jumping out of my comfort zone and realising I can do anything I set my mind too.
I am so ready for 2019 and everything it will hold and the exciting thing is, that chapter is still unwritten.
Happy New Year everyone!
Photo Credit: GemsBlogStorey