This post is something a bit different to what I would usually do over here on my blog but it’s one that I have been pondering about writing for quite some time. What advice would I give to those living in their 20’s? (The latter part). Although I never did a part 1 to this (Seriously Important Things I have Learned in my Early 20’s) I feel that, that part of my life was still a lot about me getting to know myself as a person, learning to grow and how to adult *sortof.
Since hitting 25 and older, I have come to realise that there are a lot of things that I spent so much time worrying about in the earlier part of my 20’s that, well, actually don’t matter. So I thought what better way to share them than with you all in a blog post and I hope in return, it could place a positive bean into your own mindset if you’re at a similar age as I.
It’s okay to have a small group of friends.
This I have to say, is still something I am trying to work on admittedly. I have some extremely close friends who I would call my besties for life and I have some friends who I don’t know majorly well but would still call friends. I hope I am making sense here?! I have spent most of my 20’s worrying about the future with friendships and always dreamed of having that iconic ‘girl gang’. But, it’s never happened for me. I left Salisbury when I was 22, moved to uni for 3 years and now have been living in London for almost 3 years now on the perm. Most of my friends I did have moved away to a new city, or back home and re-cooperated their adult life post-uni back into their family homes. For me, by the time I left uni I was 25 and in no way the age to move back home (in my eyes). Plus, I had a seriously gorge boyfriend to move in with! It’s taken me long enough but I am now coming to terms with the fact that I am okay with this, the fact I only have a few, but amazing, girl mates is set for me. Plus I know they won’t stab me in the back or ditch me at the drop of a hat so it’s a perfect situation for me to be in. It also means I get to have exciting weekends away every month, so whose the real winner here?!
Stay in your lane, your sand timer is yours and nobody else’s.
This one came as a bit of a epiphany to me one day whilst browsing Pinterest as you do. I came across a quote about everyone’s lives running on different timers. It got me thinking about how much time I spent worrying about what other people thought of my life. “Why am I now 28 and I haven’t got my sh*t together?! Should I be married by now? Should I have kids by now?! Why do I not own a house?! Why I am still counting the pennies each month?!” The answer is NO & STOP! You are on your own sand timer just like everybody else is. You cannot define your life by the next girl or guy who may have that dream house with their own family by now. Everyone’s lives run at different paces, but that’s the beauty of it. Can you imagine living in a world where everyone did everything at the same time?! I know I can’t, and quite frankly I would find that pretty boring. Stay in your lane, do things at your own pace and congratulate yourself on every achievement you make, just because Sandra down the road looks like she has her sh*t together, you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.
Don’t believe everything you see on social media.
I feel I am not the only one trying to preach this right now. Gone are the days of when I was a teenager and the only thing we had was MSN messenger (RIP) and the world’s simplest phone which didn’t even have internet. I know, I know, I grew up when the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and blogging/YouTube didn’t really exist and in all honesty I really do feel for teenagers growing up in this day and age with the every growing pressure to look this way and be that way. BUT trust me when I say, and if there are any teenagers out there reading this, PLEASE do not believe everything you see on social media! It’s paints a perfect life picture of people constantly jetting off on holiday with the best body, best boyfriend, best friends, best life, but what you don’t see is the pressure to get that post up because that person in said picture is being paid for it to be up on a certain time, you’re not seeing the relationship problems, the stress to get to the gym everyday, the stretch marks, the cellulite, the worries and strains of that persons life. Now, I am not sitting here and saying that is the case behind every persons ‘perfect’ Instagram post but what I am saying is, no one’s life is perfect, and I’ll just leave it at that.
Your parents will become your best friends and your words of wisdom.
When I was a teenager I would literally do anything to get away from my parents, I won’t go into those rebellious days now but it was totally ‘uncool’ to hang out with your Mum or Dad on a weekend. Now I love nothing more than spending one to one time with my Mum and Dad, especially days out and weekends away. I love hearing stories about their lives and how they came to raise me and my brother and make certain life decisions. I go to them for advice and in times of need and they are always there for me. I never realised how much I appreciated them until I hit into my 20’s and realised that they supported every decision I ever made and still make to this day. I still make mistakes or have life questions even as a 28 year old and who will I call first? My parents of course.
Stop caring about what you look like & worrying what people will think of you.
Okay, so we all get good days and bad days right?! I mean the ones where you look in the mirror and think “I hate my flabby bum and why can’t I look more airbrushed?!” but then on the other hand: “Oh wow I look alright today and this outfit is doing BITS for my figure today!” I’ve learnt to focus more on the latter and not what other people will perceive of me. I’m not the skinniest (although a lot skinnier than I used to be) and I am in no way the best looking from the best of people out there. But I know damn well I am lucky to have the looks and body I do have. Yes, I have stretch marks, yes I have been gifted with the likes of cellulite but it’s what makes me, me. I am not about to change for anybody, nor will I dress a certain way either. I constantly stress to people not to get into debt just to make themselves want to ‘fit in’…fit in to where? What Instagram perceives people to be? No thank you. If I want to wear that belt from GAP my Mum gave me from her wardrobe to hold up my jeans even though it’s no where near Gucci or fashionable, then I will! If I want to get my legs out in short shorts in the summer than I will do that too. Don’t let anyone tell you what is the right way or wrong way to look.
Phew, that was a long blog post wasn’t it! I would love to know in the comments below if you have any more tips you can give to those trying to make it through their 20’s…or if all else fails I recommend you all listen to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann 😉